1. Seek out meaningful experiencesSpend time with others who bring happiness to your life, and seek to engage with them in a meaningful way, whether that means talking about shared interests, philosophies or ideas about the world, or engaging in vulnerability with trusted others. Allow others to see different sides of you, and pursue avenues where you are able to be known by them. But first, spend some alone time getting to know yourself, what you like, and how you want to exist in the world.
2. Make a list of your accomplishmentsWrite a paper and pen copy, or save it as a file on your computer. Think about all the different realms of your life, be it academics, work or hobbies, your home life, athletics or the arts. Don’t forget to include all the intangible things accomplished as well, whether it was an important life lesson learned, a time of personal growth and self-improvement, something immaterial given to others including wisdom or assistance, or times you may have functioned in an important leadership role. When you get stuck, enlist the help of another who can help give you perspective and allow you to see outside of the story you have always told yourself. Throughout your day, draw attention to your successes, no matter how small and celebrate them. Cultivate in yourself gratitude for the path you have taken thus far, and do your best to focus on yourself, and not to play the comparison game
3. Envision your ideal you & ideal futureMake a vision board represent who you are now, and make a separate one for the life you want to live. Fill it with quotes, favorite sayings, images that bring you joy, or other things to remind you who you are right now and the life you are pursuing. Notice the differences between them as well as the ways that you are on the right track. Focus on one small difference and make that your goal for the week or month.
4. Forgive yourself for your mistakesGive yourself the benefit of the doubt that you are doing the best that you can with the resources available to you. Extend to yourself some self-compassion, whether that’s to the future, past or present you. Do the work to dig deeper and understand yourself and your motives, but remember that many times you’re doing the best you can. Stop being so hard on yourself, accept that it is a human quality to make mistakes sometimes or make a poor choice here or there. Owning up to your mistakes in the past actually helps to give you the power to help make a change in the future moving forward.
5. Surprise yourselfSay “yes” to something that you would normally say “no” to, or would typically count out right away. Follow through with something you normally may not have, start a new project and carry it to completion, or push yourself 10 extra minutes of exercising, journaling, reading or walking. Challenge yourself to try something new and to step outside of your comfort zone. Make sure to take joy in completing something that you were not always sure you could accomplish. And in that same vein, learn to say “no” also in order to protect your own boundaries. Surprise yourself by choosing “discomfort over resentment” in moments when you feel overextended, overworked, and allow your own needs to come first for a change.
6. Work on self- trustBegin to believe that you can accomplish the things in life that you seek. Have confidence in future you, and in your problem-solving skills, that no presenting issue will be too great to tackle.
- Avoid people who are unsupportive.
- Keep the promises you make to yourself.
- Speak kindly to yourself.